Fiona Tan

Recently everything just turn bad, Me and my bestfriend (Whom i do treat as my bestfriend, but don’t know if she think that too) relationship kinda soar, we’re colleague and she’s my second brother girlfriend too (Who know me in real life will know who’s i’m mentioning) She treat me so cold sometimes just shoot me for no reasons, we kinda ignored each other except when work matters. Too much unhappy stuff happen in my workplaces that making me fed up in working sometimes. Me and KW also less talk caused he like to jokingly teased me “useless” But actually that words is i hate the most, so i just tell him about how hurt i am whenever he said that.He did apologised, so i just cool down and as usual will send him a “Morning and have a nice day wishes” every morning, but night he sms me so late and just ask if i’m sleep yet ? when i replied and ask how are he doing, he won’t reply much or just didn’t reply. Why all my close friends suddenly drift away from me ? Even ‘Him” even casual colleague or friends also will greet each other morning or just a hi. But he just walk pass me or ignored me like i’m invisible! Gosh sometimes i felt why are people so hard to please. I wanna be myself, but i hurt when all my friend seems drift away…When are the rain over and the rainbow is out ? If it does exist…

Posting this blog now makes my heart feeling hurt and angry.
Once my teacher also my friend accompany me to MV (MidValley) MPH to meet Yvoone my friend, we go by cab and later she take me back as well. That day she accidentally slipped her words and told me that one of her friend (Of cause i know that girl too,shes my friend too) ask her why she dare to hang out with me ? especially public places, my teacher answer her saying hang out with me is ok, no harm does. Although i not close with that girl,but she asked my teacher for my number and said wanna be my friends. How can she said that behind my back.? Fine i know i have skin illness, i know i walk kinda slow, my skin sometimes can makes kinda obvious to others and also know going out with me must make sure i’m alright. But thats not i wanted too! I don’t want to be a burden to you guy’s.Why must said “aren’t you afraid about your images when going out with fiona(me)” My illness won’t spread to you nor will it affect your healths.
Why must treat me like i’m alien or having somekind of disease thats spread to others ? Although i just met that girl few times, but i still treat her as my friend! Having this illness is not what i wanted or can choose not to have, since i step into this world i have no choice but to carry this illness. I try to lived like a normal person. Be happy and cheerful always, tried my best to be independent. All i wanted and long to have is a true sincere friends who will be there for me when i need them and same goes to them.How hard can that be? Don’t they know that words can kill someone sometimes? I’m trying to accept who i am? accept what i born to be, accept what the god gave me and also appreciate whatever i having now.
But please be fair to me..Don’t in front of me said being my friends and my back despise and humiliate me..I just wanna be a simple girl ok. Who can hang out with friends,study or work and something like that.. Either sincerely be my friends or else just buzz off. I don’t need a friends who pretend to be what they seems to look but behind me just backstab or insult me..I had enough!!