Fiona Tan

Sigh.. i also don’t know why my life’s can be soo meaningless…
i’m so lonely and friendless..i always wonder am i really that like “him”? or that i’m too lonely?just hope someone can cared for me? all my friend (not include net-friend) is not more then 10 person!(and that already plus my bro girlfriend too!)my lifes was so blank.. the past 17 years i was soo blank. everyday stay at home do nothing only.. i felt i missed a lot! i miss school,childhood sweet memories and many more! if there is someone ask me whats my childhood memories then i guess i’ll muted..for how long must i have such a bored and lonely life? will it last forever?actually i really was a simple girl and has simple wish only.. all i want is has a true friend by my side when i sad or happy. can shared with me everything. and can explore the world outside! learn more stuff.. is that really hard? am i greedy if thats what i ask for?

Well at last i got the answer that i wanna know..
at last i ask “him” does he really have girlfriend, and he just show me the picture and told me his girlfriend is 21 years old! i kinda hurt at that moment, but that feeling has gone so i thought maybe i not that like him.. but this morning saw him and must pretend nothing happen and smile to him as usual does hurt me in my heart. and yesterday in our conversation i can felt he just take me as little sister, that means even though he has no girlfriend he also won’t like me, now all i can do is concentrate on my work and healths and stop thinking about him… gosh hope i can forget this feel instantly!

Many people have step in and out of my lifes, some offer to help me on my skin disease no matter on a logical or not logical way, logical of cause is thru doctor and science medication le,
not logical is of cause is so call has those spirit power or traditional witch and those stuff!
Since small i has countless way of curing my disease, from doctor to bomoh! I have started to lose hope cause many disappointment, felt like they giving me a hope of cured and crashing the hope later. so now i hardly can convince myself that those not logic way can help me.
yesterday once again a customer come and brought motorcycle when she saw me she said has some kind of voice that sounds like their (god) wanna try to cured me and said every treatment just cause 00.25 cents! should i give her and myself a chance ? she said not really cured my disease just hope that can make my body stronger so i can be more healthier, on condition is myself must have confidence on myself and her! But after much disappointment i have already lose confidence on these stuff. Really don’t know should i give her and myself a chance ? Any advice dear friends and cousin ?

Haha i notice kinda long didn’t update so just wanna update a little lo.
Well lets see. now my healths so far is good already everything turn normal back, my hand and legs is good, still as usual every weeks go for my fisiotheraphy and improving pretty much.
And now i back to work again since one of the clerk there has quit job so i take her place and trying hard to learn stuff in there. so far also ok le kinda good. But i felt this 2 month of ghost festival is not lucky for our family lo. maybe i’m too superstitious. just lost my mom favourite pup and found it back (but isn’t sure is it the pup we lost one!) some businness and family problems..
sigh hope things will get better le soon. hope more happy stuff will happen la! As for me nothing
special happen le. always keep in touch with old friends and that Mr irc lo hehe.. as for “him” sigh nothing more to said. hard to understand this guy!…ok ler thats it for my kinda annoying life

Bye….