Fiona Tan

Well i need help from whoever that has view my blogs.I already try to get to know more about “him” and i found that he is a kind guy! i left 3 days to my operation, then i won’t go to work for kinda a long time, that means i won’t be able to see him again for some times!
I just wonder should i tell him what i feel about him ? but please don’t be mistaken i not dreaming or hope that if he know about my feelings towards him, and he’ll like me!
I just don’t want to regrets not telling him what i felt! i don’t want in future i’ll said that : “why didn’t i tell him last time,, i don’t wanna wait till he has girlfriend only i tell him! its a torturous feeling!All i wish was to let him know that he also not a lame guy! he too has secret admirer or something! i know if i tell him i’ll have a risk that he’ll avoid me like kevin! and we no longer friends! And of cause i know that he take me as a little sis only. but i can’t help it. the feel is in there! no matter how hard i try to forget him i won’t be able to easily forget this feel.
I even so silly! in my shop the water refill machine is in the toilet! so whenever he went to fill his bottle me too will follow! how silly. even if i gonna tell him i won’t tell him face to face or in telephone, i’ll send an e-mail to him, or send him my this blog address! so please guy please advice me what to do ok ? i will tell him on this monday if i really wanna tell! please whoever leave a comments in here ok!

Yup i’m awaken from my sweet and naive dreams, I always thought that maybe just maybe “him” will like me one day, or even he did know i am like him or something, and i got the chance to know him a little more by
chatting with him at night on msn messenger. I realise that every guy no matter if he really is a kind guy or not, also they will hope they girlfriend is pretty . so now all i hope i just to understand “him” more and be his bestfriends, I even told him something about kevin, actually i just wanna know from a guy like his age guy’s view, that if last time kevin really like me or fool me, of cause his answer is kevin is a liar, and i guess it.
I found out he is kinda a lonely guy. i even encourage “him” to search for a girlfriend, although i kinda hate what i said, and afraid he’ll find one. but i can’t be selfish. I do hope he can find someone that he truly loved and be loved.. anyway i left 1 weeks to go before my operations.. hmm start to have those nervous feelings again….sigh wish me luck….

Hmm above the question i have think for soo long and can’t find answer.. well today i’ll tell you more about “him” well he is my colleague, (different department) i have crush on him for 1 years! can’t believe, guess i starting to like him.. But the problem is his ages can be my brother! (23) i always wonder why can i like him ? honestly he is not handsome,cute or even cool! and i heard from someone said that he is kinda a jerk!sigh… but i just can’t help liking him.
I know he just treat me as a little sister or little girl to him cause he like to tease me! and get my attention or something.i have try to forget him, i try to be rude,mean and even avoid him but is useless. I always wonder if i really like him or just that i’m kinda friendless and lonely, i really have no idea. Sigh, I know if i go for my operations and stay at home for sometimes i’ll miss him much! i really hope on that period i can forget about him..I wonder why all my crushes is elder then me ? sigh…. please let me forget this feel!

Wow today is kinda everything in a mess but it turn out has a happy ending for me!
well first, i thought today would be a bored day! cause audrey was off, so i have to work full day.
and first didn’t had any clients yet so i just boring around.. hehe..
then when we have customer in, i beg “ms how” to let me try and interview the client. ok although she didn’t let me!But i still try to prove i can, so when ms how interviewing the customer, i stand by her side and watch and after everything done, she passed me the case to handle!!! yahoo!!
ok next thing. in my previous post i mentions that i found “him”in friendster
and when in to check, but i forgot that he can saw mine too!
well yes he did saw my and browse thru my profile! and in it i have insert my blog address!
i so scared at first but later i found out that he didn’t notice it (i guess) And now i add him as msn messenger .. haha wonder is a chance for me to get to know “him” better… haha thats it.. oh 1 last thing, tomorrow our department will open our first meeting to point out who done the most mistake! hope is not me…..hehe….

Well well.. guess what ? my operation is extended for 1 weeks more, thats means 4th of july.. hmm extra 1 more weeks.. wonder is it the god wanna give me 1 more weeks to enjoy my freedom or what else i don’t know….
hmm i have a chance to get to know “him” more.. hehe thanks to me cyber mania.. i found him in friendster.. of cause i didn’t add him..
don’t wanna make it too obvious. hehe anyway hope my last 2 weeks will be happy….
Oh btw yesterday is father day, well actually earlier didn’t plan wanna give what to him, so thought spend him to dinner.. but then he give a kinda obvious hints that he need a new handphone.. so we (hendrik,canisius,kenny boy and me) brought him a handphone (sony ericssons w800i) cost about Rm 1400 + … divided by four that means each one of us need to dig out Rm 300 +.. hmm thats it for today ler.. oh and please bless that “him” never found my blog in here or else.. i also don’t know where to hide myself!!!! haha ok.. got to go for now.. before the operations i’ll update one last time….

sigh, what a bored day.. world cup has started, so no one come and buy motorcycle.. hope all the customer will come and buy more motor so i had job to do.. hehe..sigh 18 day’s left.. kinda worried wonder what will happen after june 28th? will i be more healthy ? sigh i will stop work for don’t know how long ? i’m sure will miss ”him” please god take away this stupid feeling.. i hate the feel of missing someone! is a torturing feel..
why ? why do i born to has this skin disease ? when well i recover? what my future in store for me ? will i be alone forever ? will i find someone who trully love me for who i am ? will i be a successful person in future ?
these is the question that i can’t found the answer.. But i know no matter what happen i’ll lead my life as happy as i can!i’ll try to forget all the sadness and believe i’ll had a wonderful life.

Well yesterday is mommy birthday. We (include may and audrey) go genting highland and celebrate. we holiday for 2 days!! wow is a big history for powermate(except chinese new year)
well me,hendrik,may and kenny boy. shared a present! is a osim Uzap!! audrey,canisius give mom a pretty christal tree.. hehe well too bad yesterday in genting i didn’t played much,
cause my leg pain ma.. so i go to cyber cafe lo. brother they all go and walk a while..
then i go and met hendrik at starbucks! and ate my favourite tiramisu!! hehe..
thats it lo although played less but kinda have some fun too…
well now left 22 more days to my operation day! sigh kinda nervous… god bless me please..
haha sorry ler i also don’t know how to upload pic, so my blog is no photos available!
anything happen will update it soon….